Good morning, everyone! I hope you're doing well this Tuesday.
I just posted a picture of Addie and I after my workout to Facebook and was typing
a caption and I felt like what I was typing was not enough to explain the story
behind the picture so I wanted to share all of my feelings here to the blog.
I'm emotional thinking about it right now as I type.
Addie sometimes just watches TV upstairs when I work out,
but lately she's been a downstairs with me. I think she likes Tony Horton and
22 Minute Hard Corps. Today she was with me for 2 of the 3 rounds and I ended
up taking a video on my phone of almost the entire workout of the both of us
just because I want to preserve that memory. That experience is something that
I never thought was possible for my life; something if you would have shown me
that video 3 years ago I would have laughed at you and I would have said:
- · You're crazy, there's no way that is that that kind of workout is fun.
- · There's no way that that I could keep up with that.
- · There's no way that I would be laughing and having fun with it.
The fact that I would have this amazing, energetic,
strong daughter who loved doing it with me- I wouldn't have believed it. I realize
that a lot of the things I post might seem out of reach for people that follow
me, and I just want to tell you that it doesn't have to be out of reach. My
first goal was 5 pounds at a time, and I lost 5 pounds in my first 21 days! More
than 5 pounds, actually. The weight that I got down to, the energy I have, and
the things that I've accomplished never even crossed my mind as possible to
shoot for because it was so far removed from the life I was living.
For example, with what we eat: I never ate yogurt at all growing
up. I thought it was disgusting or sour. Do you know what my favorite treat is
now like if Corey and Addie make a s’more for dessert?? I have a vanilla greek
yogurt and sprinkle in maybe a couple chocolate chips or a handful of cinnamon
granola organic granola. That's my dessert! That's something that my body
craves which is wild, because I never would have touched the stuff 3 years ago.
The fact that I ran a 10k last fall is something that you
might think, “Oh I'd like to do that someday.” but you never really do anything
about trying to reach the goal. The fact that I can go out on any given day and
go for a 3-mile run and have it be no big deal…that is something that I never
thought was possible. When I was growing up I couldn't even finish the mile in
junior high without having a friend have to run into the school and get my
inhaler for me because I couldn't breathe. I was not in shape. I ate terribly.
Just recently I had a pear slice; I thought it was a green apple! I had never had
a pear that didn't come in like heavy cling syrup!
I've liked posting videos lately of my workouts to
Facebook to show that I like doing it when Addie does it with me. It's just so
much fun to look at and see the life that I live and what's possible with being
healthy and putting yourself first. I just want to let you know that if you're
intimidated at all by the things that I post and think that I'm drinking some
crazy happy juice, I totally know how you feel because that's how I felt, too.
Before I started, I could not last an entire day without taking a nap with
Addison. Everyday I would literally sleep in, lay in bed with her watching TV, get
up, come to the couch, turn the TV on and sit there all day. I would play with
her and do the absolute minimum, and there would be times when I would fall
asleep on the couch as she was playing because I just had no energy to do
anything.
For one thing, that’s not safe, and I felt incredibly
guilty every time that happened, but I just had nothing in me to give. It was
embarrassing and I hated myself for it. The first thing that I thought when a
friend of mine started showing these awesome changes in her life was that I
resented her for it, and I didn't want to see her posts because I was jealous
of her. I thought that there was no way that I could ever have what she had;
she must be super special or have something. But all she really had was better
tools than me, and a support system.
She shared that with me, and now I'm the one that posts
the annoying happy stuff all the time ;) and maybe you are the one that is
looking at that and thinks “Awesome, good for her. I could never do that.” But
I want to tell you that you can and I want to tell you that it's possible, and
I want to tell you that it's going to take work. It's going to be long term;
it's not going to be 3 weeks and you're gonna have your goal body and your life
is going to be perfect, because if you stop you're gonna go back to where you
were!
You have to get to the point where you want change so
desperately that you're willing to try something different and you're willing
to stick with it once you see it starting to work. If you would have told me 3
years ago that I would be earning money by sharing about my workouts or that I
would be earning money by working 1-2 hours a day and paying for things like
car repairs or vacations or this super-awesome surprise that I bought tickets
for last night (Disney on Ice!!) I wouldn’t have believed you.
Last night I saw the tickets on sale and I told Corey how
much fun it would be and asked if we should do it. He said yes, and I didn’t
have to think twice about how much it costs because I know that I'm bringing in
money for fun stuff like that. Corey's money is covering the bills most of the
time, and so my money can go to fun stuff like that we would have not had in
our lives before.
I'm so much more thankful for the life I have now because
I have known the complete opposite and I know that I never want that again. I
never want to feel like a medical diagnosis is defining who I am. I never want
to feel like I can't be enough or I can't keep up or have fun with my family. I
want this change for so many other people because it's so, so much more than
the size clothes that I wear; it's so much more than the silly selfies that I
post. I want you to have the same journey as I have had because it's been an
amazing ride.
I'm looking for people to join with me on that ride; so
there's space on my bus and I am moving forward. This post was to let you know
more of where I’ve been so if you identify
with that at all, you should know that it's
possible to change and I want to help you do that. Please follow me on Facebook
at www.facebook.com/boeknowscleanliving and
reach out to me there.
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