Endometriosis, Unhealthy Body Image, Loss, Grief, and Stress...10 years later

Thanks to Facebook's Memories, I'm remembering 10 years ago today: August 27, 2006.

I was beginning my junior year at Northland College. This picture was taken while riding on a bus to a preseason soccer game in the UP of Michigan.

If I'm being honest, when I first saw the picture posted in 2006, my first reaction was "ooo you can see my hip bone sticking out when I lay like that" and I felt like I was doing something right to have that be my body shape. 😯 (I don't think I need to tell you that THAT is not a healthy thought/body aspiration.)

I worked so hard all summer to improve myself- working out in the company fitness room during my lunch break and having maybe half a sandwich or granola bar to refuel myself. All of that sweat and work, only to spend a couple days in the hospital to be diagnosed with endometriosis and essentially lose all of that progress.

Every month that school year I would often spend days in a row in bed curled up with a heating pad and take ibuprofen like it was candy, crying from the pain.

The end of August and early September was also when my Grandpa George and Grandmother (Fox) passed away. I remember visiting my Grandmother in the hospital after her heart surgery and passing out from low blood sugar.

That was the last time I ever saw her, and she was worrying about me from her hospital bed. To this day I cannot have plain vanilla milkshakes because of the memory associated with drinking part of hers to raise my blood sugar after passing out.

We didn't know at the time, but we only had 5 months left before my Grandpa Fox would pass away as well.

That year was so difficult and challenging for soccer, family, and school. Especially in 2nd semester, my grade dropped weekly in the hardest physics class I would ever take. I'd break down crying in my teacher's office, trying to manage my grief and stress while being unable to understand the material.
😪

If only I knew then what I know now...

That working out past exhaustion on no calories was not the way to lose weight or perform better on the soccer field. Food was not the enemy- food was FUEL.

That I didn't have to carry the burden of grief and stress alone. I didn't have to be mad at God- it only isolated me from His love even more.

All of these memories from a simple picture. I'm reminded of not only what I went through at that time but how far I've come since. ❤️

31 simple tasks/habits to help you cut the clutter, streamline your home, and relieve stress in your life

SUMMERTIME is BUSY! You are up early, out of the house, get home late and just throw stuff down and say to yourself that you'll get to it in the morning. Even a week of that gets you into a mess that feels so hard to get to the bottom of. I know it because I've been there! It is a struggle. But I have good news...

I  cleaning and organizing! I put together a list of simple tasks that will clean up your phone, house, schedule, and ease your mind. I need to do these things too- who wants to do this with me?!

Please comment if you want to try this FREE De-Clutter Challenge with me. Only a few minutes a day will really make a difference. If you want to tell a friend to do this with you, please tag them here too. The more, the merrier!! We start TONIGHT!!

If you are seeing this after July 2016 and would like to be connected in case I do this group again, or would like to learn more about the free private groups I run on Facebook, please find me at: bit.ly/1fitlifefb

living with anxiety and learning to let God provide

Part 1: 

We just did our grocery shopping for the month. At checkout we found out just how much fuel saver/free gas we left on the table by shopping today instead of Saturday. 

Corey's response: "eh, oh well"
My response: "I'll return the whole order, put everything back on the shelf, and come back Saturday to re-buy it" THAT is another glimpse into my over-analyzing, anxious brain. 😳

Where on of the spectrum of the 2 of us do you fall?

Part 2: 2 days later...

I wanted to share with you something that has really changed my perspective from Thursday. I remember posting about grocery shopping and the huge anxiety that I got afterwords realizing that essentially we had left an entire tank of free Fuel Saver gas on the table in the Yukon. Gas is still relatively cheap compared to last year, but it still takes a lot of gas to fill up that big thing. So this anxiety was bothering me Thursday and eating at me Friday.

But then I went to balance our checkbook and I logged in to see what my Beachbody paycheck was for Thursday (the day that we have gone grocery shopping) and it was so amazing and reassuring to find out that last week I actually made enough money to fill up both of our cars from dead empty! It didn't have to come from Corey's paycheck at all; it came from mine! I was really reassured and thankful to God for this opportunity, and He’s showing me that the work that I'm putting in, and the number of people that I'm able to help with their health and fitness is blessing our family so much.

There's no need to have such anxiety about paying our bills, or looking out for those coupons or the fuel saver. Yeah, it would have been nice if we would have done that obviously, but what was more amazing is that my little side job gig that I do for coaching it's no paying for things like gas for both of our cars. We don't fill our cars up every week either, so it's a really big deal for me and I wanted to share that with you guys. I wanted to give you some perspective that you don't need to worry about things because if you're faithful in all areas of your life and if you take your worries to God instead of letting them fester in your head, God will provide for you. I'm so grateful that the coaching opportunity has been able to help my family out in such a meaningful way.

That's why I keep inviting my friends to join me every month; that's why I keep sending invitations: because I want this opportunity not just to change your health like it has mine, but to change your life like the business has changed my life. If you would like to hear more about the coaching opportunity and what it could do for your family in your spare time, the little pockets of your day, let me know because my team wants thought to have you join us!