Endometriosis, Unhealthy Body Image, Loss, Grief, and Stress...10 years later

Thanks to Facebook's Memories, I'm remembering 10 years ago today: August 27, 2006.

I was beginning my junior year at Northland College. This picture was taken while riding on a bus to a preseason soccer game in the UP of Michigan.

If I'm being honest, when I first saw the picture posted in 2006, my first reaction was "ooo you can see my hip bone sticking out when I lay like that" and I felt like I was doing something right to have that be my body shape. 😯 (I don't think I need to tell you that THAT is not a healthy thought/body aspiration.)

I worked so hard all summer to improve myself- working out in the company fitness room during my lunch break and having maybe half a sandwich or granola bar to refuel myself. All of that sweat and work, only to spend a couple days in the hospital to be diagnosed with endometriosis and essentially lose all of that progress.

Every month that school year I would often spend days in a row in bed curled up with a heating pad and take ibuprofen like it was candy, crying from the pain.

The end of August and early September was also when my Grandpa George and Grandmother (Fox) passed away. I remember visiting my Grandmother in the hospital after her heart surgery and passing out from low blood sugar.

That was the last time I ever saw her, and she was worrying about me from her hospital bed. To this day I cannot have plain vanilla milkshakes because of the memory associated with drinking part of hers to raise my blood sugar after passing out.

We didn't know at the time, but we only had 5 months left before my Grandpa Fox would pass away as well.

That year was so difficult and challenging for soccer, family, and school. Especially in 2nd semester, my grade dropped weekly in the hardest physics class I would ever take. I'd break down crying in my teacher's office, trying to manage my grief and stress while being unable to understand the material.
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If only I knew then what I know now...

That working out past exhaustion on no calories was not the way to lose weight or perform better on the soccer field. Food was not the enemy- food was FUEL.

That I didn't have to carry the burden of grief and stress alone. I didn't have to be mad at God- it only isolated me from His love even more.

All of these memories from a simple picture. I'm reminded of not only what I went through at that time but how far I've come since. ❤️

Taking care of your WHOLE self

            Hey everyone! I wanted to share some things with you today. If you've been following my blog at all you probably know that I have had a really busy July: at the beginning of the month Addison and I took a one-week road trip to my best friend's house and had a great time playing with her kids and Toni and I did a lot of work for business together and it was great to collaborate. We came home for a week and then we were right back for two more weeks over at my parents’ in Illinois and then I went to Summit in Nashville for Beachbody. Now I'm finally home and unpacked with put everything away and I'm trying to get back into a routine.

            I’ve been feeling off all of last month and some of that has been my nutrition; even though I've been drinking Shakeology, my other meals are not on point when I'm traveling. I've been doing awesome with my fitness, which (for me) once I get started it is it is just a non-negotiable for me but I've recently realized that I haven't been taking care of my whole self.

            I’ve been doing my workout which is great: I've been doing 22-Minute Hard Corps so it's just 20 minutes and I’m in and out and I'm done and I'm moving on with my day. I'm drinking my shake every day, no issue. Well when I was traveling, we were eating out a lot and my cravings got all messed up and my complexion is a reflection of that right now. But another thing that was off for me was my personal development: reading books!

            My small group this summer has been reading “Grace-Filled Marriage” and I got about halfway through it and then with traveling and everything I stopped reading it. I'm the type of person that when I read a book where you learn things and implement them I really need to focus and take notes and highlight. I’m very engaged when I read; otherwise it's just pointless. I could just be reading a novel or some other fiction but I really like to make the books that I read “count” and I haven't been doing that.

            The other book I've been reading is “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” because I want to become a better person and a better leader for my team so that I can help them to start achieving their goals for themselves. I'm a very scheduled person and I thrive on that; so although it was nice to travel and see people, when I got out of my schedule I wasn't reading before bed every night or taking notes or listening to my podcasts regularly either.

            I think that so often people forget that your health is multifaceted! Even just missing one Sunday at church makes me feel “off” because I'm not getting my cup filled. I love getting daily devotional emails and I share them quite often on my Facebook page if you if you look through it (bit.ly/1fitlife). Those quick little nuggets fill my cup and make me feel more whole. Reading a book about bettering my marriage, or reading a parenting book, or reading a business book, or just a feel-good book help me “fill up” my tank in all areas of my life.

            I think one of the next books I'm going to be reading is called “The Energy Bus”; I've had a lot of friends tell me that it's amazing and so that is in my cart on amazon right now. I want to encourage you to not just focus on one area of your life; you need to focus on all the areas of your life. Your fitness is important; your nutrition is important; your spirituality is important. If spirituality for you means your faith and your relationship with Jesus like it does for me, or the energy of the universe, yoga, meditating, or other religions that's fine. But it's taking care of your inner self that's really important to do, by taking some time off for your mind to unplug. I just spent half an hour in the backyard just picking through the grass at the clovers and just letting my mind be blank for a while and letting my fingers look at a puzzle and not have to be focused or figuring out anything else.

            One of my commitments this August (I'm not waiting until school starts up again) is that I'm taking little little bits of time after Addie goes to bed or trying to get up before she does to get plugged back into my personal development. I’d like to share some of that with you, too. I've read so many amazing books recently and since I mentioned I am a note-taker, and I want to share that with you. I'd really like to start posting more things about personal development and bettering yourself in all areas, so that’s where I'm at right now right now.

            My fitness is doing great, I love my program. My nutrition is getting back on track now that I'm home: Corey and I have our monthly meal plan calendar out for dinner and we went grocery shopping and we are staying on point with that. I’m also getting back on track with my personal development now, too. If you are looking for a good book to read please don't hesitate to reach out and ask; I’ve got a great bookshelf that I'm filling up of books that I've read.

            I love that part of being a Beachbody Coach is taking care of your inner health as well as your body. If you would like to read some of my takeaways from the books that I've been reading because I hope that the information that has been blessing me can be used to bless you as well, please follow me on Facebook: bit.ly/1fitlife

Monday sweat therapy

Let me be honest with you: I AM STRUGGLING!

• I have had graduation parties which means temptation getting the better of me...
• busyness as an excuse and skipping my workouts...
• Addie getting into a new schedule which threw me off of my schedule...
• family things causing stress...

I feel pulled in 1 million different directions and didn't know what to do. Before my workout I was talking to a friend and I was holding back tears, so I just went downstairs and pushed play. I let my workout be my therapy and my stress relief.

It didn't give me any answers but what it did give me was a good sweat session, burn in my muscles, and cleared my brain. I know now that I can refocus and tackle one thing at a time. Workouts are my therapy; they are my drug; they help me get through the day and feel strong and clearheaded. I never leave a workout feeling worse than I did before I started.

What's your therapy? What's your drug? I can guarantee it does not work better than a workout because what other therapy or drug also changes your body for the better?

June 6 is the start date for my next group and I NEED YOUR HELP to stay focused and stay strong through the temptations and craziness that summer brings. Who wants to join? I'll support you and you'll support me and we will succeed together.

If you are reading this after the fact, please contact me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/boeknowscleanliving to see when my next accountability group starts!

2 years into my health, fitness, and weight loss journey with Beachbody

The first year of my fitness journey was AMAZING. I saw results immediately and all year long. My 2nd year was VERY different. If I didn't have the support of my accountability groups and education to give me a new mindset on RESULTS AND HEALTH, I would probably think that not losing any more weight or inches from year 1 to 2 would be a bad thing.
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So many people see results and then QUIT without realizing that health is a journey, not a number on the scale or destination. Then they go back to their old habits and wonder why they gain the weight back. 🤔 If you really want to be healthy, you've got to draw a line in the sand and say "ENOUGH" and never go back. That's what 2015 to 2016 was for me.
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I STILL drink Shakeology daily, I STILL workout at home 5-7 days a week, I STILL use my portion control containers and meal plan and allow for moderation and indulgences, and that's why I am STILL down the same amount of weight and inches as I lost in the first year of my health and fitness journey. I found the secret to lasting results, and that's to LAST- just keep on keeping on!
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If you want to see changes like this and feel the benefits of more energy, better digestion, clearer skin, less cravings, more confidence, more patience, better relationships, then are you ready for a commitment? I will do it WITH you and I WON'T QUIT on you. The deadline to join my June 6th accountability group is fast approaching.
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Who's in? Comment below or message me to get started. 
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If you are reading this after the fact, please contact me via Facebook at www.facebook.com/boeknowscleanliving to see when my next accountability group starts!!

Struggles make you stronger

WHAT IS ONE STRUGGLE THAT MADE YOU STRONGER? *Transformation Tuesday*

          I want to share with you part of my story that has nothing really to do with my physical journey at all. I went into grad school directly after graduating college because the job market was bad and I (fortunately) was able to attend with a tuition waiver and a stipend from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. 2 years later when I graduated the job market was still bad, so I moved to Iowa where Corey had been teaching for 2 years. In this small town area there were no jobs related to my field and every entry-level job turned me down because I was “overqualified”.
          The only job I did get was through Corey’s school as a 1-on-1 aide for minimum wage, and the next year I got my sub license and worked while I was pregnant. Subbing work was slow also, but it got us used to living on 1 income before Addie was born. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and since I never really became involved in a job/career out of grad school, it was an easy transition to stay at home and we were already used to living on only Corey’s income. That doesn’t mean living on a teacher’s salary is easy, but we are used to it.
          I used to think that because I couldn’t find a job to put my master’s degree “to use” that I was a failure. But those setbacks really just set me up for being a stay at home mom, and then about 2 years into staying at home I joined the Beachbody family as a coach to get a discount on Shakeology and to turn my health around. 2 more years later and what started as a way to save money has now turned into a purpose to help people change their lives through health and fitness, a way to bring an in an income, AND I still get to stay at home. heart emoticon 

          My point is... In the THICK of it... Your life may seem out of control... it may feel like everything is going wrong... You might be struggling... Financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically... But THE TRUTH IS... it may just be the thing needed to create your AMAZING future!!! Stay strong... Have faith! Everything is going to turn out just how God intends it to!

My first Color Dash: Having my MIND tell my BODY to keep going!

          A 5k is what started my entire fitness journey. I believe I mentioned this in my very first post, but my sister in law got me to sign up in late 2013 for a summer 2014 Warrior Dash and I started from NOTHING and in 7 months lost weight, got fit, overhauled my nutrition, and ran 2 Warrior Dash obstacle 5k races in July and August 2014. My goal when I signed up for those races and started training was to prove my husband wrong. He didn't think I could do the obstacles or run/finish the race. What better incentive to work hard and kick butt?! Fast forward to July 2015, and I decided to try a Color Dash and made it my personal goal to RUN the entire thing. I may run slow, but I didn't want to walk. I start out every day with Shakeology, so why wouldn't I also on a race day?

 





 

          There were so many people there!! It was a bottleneck at the beginning and when I started jogging it took forever to get past the big crowd. During the first kilometer my knees and body were a little sore getting into form because I do not normally run for exercise. It was a nice course, starting and finishing at the Bedell Family YMCA in Spirit Lake, Iowa. I learned that half of the race proceeds went back to my community- what a great cause!! There were a lot of families and kids. I think maybe next year I'll bring Corey and Addison along, but it was really nice to just be alone with my thoughts and run.

 

          I did walk through the color stations so I could get good coverage on my shirt. Unfortunately, even though I did the recommended vinegar soak beforehand, all of my colors washed out!! :( I took a sip at the water station but I find that as long as I have gum in my mouth when I run, I don't get dry mouth. I finished the race in around 30 minutes. My 2 timers were off because I began behind the official race start line. The time wasn't super important, although I will aim for improvement next time. The big thing was that I ran, had a good time, and pushed through when I was getting tired at the end. Your body can do so much MORE than what your mind tells you it can.

 

 

Have you ran any races before? Are you competitive with the clock, another person, or just yourself? If you'd like to be a part of the Beachbody family that has been so instrumental in my success, comment below or click the "contact me" tab above!



Sharing more than my highlight reel: getting real with you all

You all have seen my progress pics, sweaty post-workout selfies, or action pics. Earlier this week I posted how I've lost 40 pounds in the last 16 months from Shakeology and Beachbody programs like the 21 Day Fix, PiYo, T25, and Les Mills Pump. The stats and posed shots look great, but I still suffer from times of frustration because I still do not look "perfect" or how I'd like to be. You see, I've NEVER had abs, and I've had stretch marks since junior high when I gained a lot of weight but didn't hit a vertical growth spurt until a couple years later. My core has tightened a LOT in the last 16 months, but there is still a lot of excess skin on top that I'm working on, and those stretch marks don't show any sign of leaving. But you know what? I don't want to just post my "highlight reel"- I want to actually BE REAL with you. Throughout this journey I have come to love my body and the miracle of carrying a baby for 9 months and nursing for 36 months (and counting). I might never have a completely taut tummy. But I never want my daughter to think that her outward appearance is what defines her. So I'm showing you my "flab" today to show you that I'm not perfect. Looking perfect is not how I measure my success. It's how I feel on the inside.

 



Beachbody's motto is: decide, commit, succeed. My story started with a decision 1 year ago, I commit and recommit daily to making myself better, and I find little successes along the way. I want my friends, YOU, to find this life changing transformation in their life. All I'm asking for is for you to make that decision and commit to it with me. I'll help you succeed, just like my coach did with me. I would love to help you start this type of inner and outer transformation. Please reach out to me via email, Facebook, or comment below.