Tuesday, August 23, 2016

I never thought this would be my life

            Good morning, everyone! I hope you're doing well this Tuesday. I just posted a picture of Addie and I after my workout to Facebook and was typing a caption and I felt like what I was typing was not enough to explain the story behind the picture so I wanted to share all of my feelings here to the blog. I'm emotional thinking about it right now as I type.

            Addie sometimes just watches TV upstairs when I work out, but lately she's been a downstairs with me. I think she likes Tony Horton and 22 Minute Hard Corps. Today she was with me for 2 of the 3 rounds and I ended up taking a video on my phone of almost the entire workout of the both of us just because I want to preserve that memory. That experience is something that I never thought was possible for my life; something if you would have shown me that video 3 years ago I would have laughed at you and I would have said:

  • ·      You're crazy, there's no way that is that that kind of workout is fun.
  • ·      There's no way that that I could keep up with that.
  • ·      There's no way that I would be laughing and having fun with it.


            The fact that I would have this amazing, energetic, strong daughter who loved doing it with me- I wouldn't have believed it. I realize that a lot of the things I post might seem out of reach for people that follow me, and I just want to tell you that it doesn't have to be out of reach. My first goal was 5 pounds at a time, and I lost 5 pounds in my first 21 days! More than 5 pounds, actually. The weight that I got down to, the energy I have, and the things that I've accomplished never even crossed my mind as possible to shoot for because it was so far removed from the life I was living.

            For example, with what we eat: I never ate yogurt at all growing up. I thought it was disgusting or sour. Do you know what my favorite treat is now like if Corey and Addie make a s’more for dessert?? I have a vanilla greek yogurt and sprinkle in maybe a couple chocolate chips or a handful of cinnamon granola organic granola. That's my dessert! That's something that my body craves which is wild, because I never would have touched the stuff 3 years ago.

            The fact that I ran a 10k last fall is something that you might think, “Oh I'd like to do that someday.” but you never really do anything about trying to reach the goal. The fact that I can go out on any given day and go for a 3-mile run and have it be no big deal…that is something that I never thought was possible. When I was growing up I couldn't even finish the mile in junior high without having a friend have to run into the school and get my inhaler for me because I couldn't breathe. I was not in shape. I ate terribly. Just recently I had a pear slice; I thought it was a green apple! I had never had a pear that didn't come in like heavy cling syrup!

            I've liked posting videos lately of my workouts to Facebook to show that I like doing it when Addie does it with me. It's just so much fun to look at and see the life that I live and what's possible with being healthy and putting yourself first. I just want to let you know that if you're intimidated at all by the things that I post and think that I'm drinking some crazy happy juice, I totally know how you feel because that's how I felt, too. Before I started, I could not last an entire day without taking a nap with Addison. Everyday I would literally sleep in, lay in bed with her watching TV, get up, come to the couch, turn the TV on and sit there all day. I would play with her and do the absolute minimum, and there would be times when I would fall asleep on the couch as she was playing because I just had no energy to do anything.

            For one thing, that’s not safe, and I felt incredibly guilty every time that happened, but I just had nothing in me to give. It was embarrassing and I hated myself for it. The first thing that I thought when a friend of mine started showing these awesome changes in her life was that I resented her for it, and I didn't want to see her posts because I was jealous of her. I thought that there was no way that I could ever have what she had; she must be super special or have something. But all she really had was better tools than me, and a support system.

            She shared that with me, and now I'm the one that posts the annoying happy stuff all the time ;) and maybe you are the one that is looking at that and thinks “Awesome, good for her. I could never do that.” But I want to tell you that you can and I want to tell you that it's possible, and I want to tell you that it's going to take work. It's going to be long term; it's not going to be 3 weeks and you're gonna have your goal body and your life is going to be perfect, because if you stop you're gonna go back to where you were!

            You have to get to the point where you want change so desperately that you're willing to try something different and you're willing to stick with it once you see it starting to work. If you would have told me 3 years ago that I would be earning money by sharing about my workouts or that I would be earning money by working 1-2 hours a day and paying for things like car repairs or vacations or this super-awesome surprise that I bought tickets for last night (Disney on Ice!!) I wouldn’t have believed you.

            Last night I saw the tickets on sale and I told Corey how much fun it would be and asked if we should do it. He said yes, and I didn’t have to think twice about how much it costs because I know that I'm bringing in money for fun stuff like that. Corey's money is covering the bills most of the time, and so my money can go to fun stuff like that we would have not had in our lives before.

            I'm so much more thankful for the life I have now because I have known the complete opposite and I know that I never want that again. I never want to feel like a medical diagnosis is defining who I am. I never want to feel like I can't be enough or I can't keep up or have fun with my family. I want this change for so many other people because it's so, so much more than the size clothes that I wear; it's so much more than the silly selfies that I post. I want you to have the same journey as I have had because it's been an amazing ride.


            I'm looking for people to join with me on that ride; so there's space on my bus and I am moving forward. This post was to let you know more of where I’ve been so if you identify with that at all, you should know that it's possible to change and I want to help you do that. Please follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/boeknowscleanliving and reach out to me there.


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