Thursday, August 11, 2016

You can't control everything, but you CAN control your reaction

            Good afternoon everybody! Although it's not been that good of a deal for me so far. L I don't know where you live but where I live last night we had some pretty strong storms and I was woken up not only by the storms but also by a couple things beeping throughout the house because the power went off.

            So this morning I got up kind of early and went to start working on the computer and it started making some noises and gave me the dreaded rainbow pinwheel and I thought “What's going on?” I had to hold down the power button for it to restart and then it had this grey screen and wouldn't work. I started freaking out and asked Corey “Can you get out of bed I don't know what happened!" He said to go workout I'll take care of it. He is a Mac pro and he was gonna try to burn the files off of there to hopefully recover it even though it wasn't starting up. And then it stopped doing that before he could get anything off. I took it into town and my hard drive is officially dead. Dead, dead, dead!!

            The good news is that most of my files for work are on Google drive so praise the Lord for the cloud. Another great thing is that I keep a lot of things on my phone that I don't delete and I also backup my pictures to Shutterfly. But the bad thing is that there were files on my computer that I did not have on my Google Drive or Shutterfly or even my external hard drive. My external hard drive does not do a real-time data transfer because it's not Mac-compatible so I have to try every month to do it (but I don’t always remember)…but it's too late so there are some things that are possibly gone forever.

            When I was at the Radio Shack in town I was so down and even if I think about it for too long right now, I get really depressed about it because so much of our life is stored on our computers now. On the way home I was flipping through the XM stations and heard Linkin Park’s “What I've done” and I thought “oh my gosh I don't need that song”. I turned the channel and next I heard Taylor Swift's “Bad Blood” and once again didn’t need that song, so I switched back to the Christian radio station on XM and it wasn't my favorite song but it started to ease my anxiety a little bit.

            With change my anxiety gets out of control; with traveling and then coming home and unpacking and trying to find a new routine my anxiety is bad and we're trying to clean up and do a big de-clutter around the house and get rid of things and sell things and so with that and now the computer, it's just too much.

            Corey found a company that you send your hard drive to them and they are super experts at recovering stuff so I'm really really hoping that they're able to recover things. My first inclination when the hard drive crashed I thought “Maybe I'll just get a brand-new computer and file a claim through our home insurance because the power surge/storm caused it to die." But then the Radio Shack person said they would recommend to simply replace the hard drive and those are cheap- we actually have a spare one in the closet right now. So at least for now we are saved that $500 deductible for replacing the entire computer; that's a blessing in this negativity. But we still have the issue of losing my files.

            I titled this post that you can't control everything, but that you can control your reaction. I used to listen to non-Christian music and so when I would get down and be depressed and have anxiety and get stomachaches over things, the music I would listen to what would perpetuate that and make it worse. I’ve found that listening to Christian music really helps and working out does too. I might need to have another workout later just to get this frustration out it so I don't cry about it. Another thing I think a lot of people do in stressful situations (because I know I do it too) is turn to food. I initially thought “Oh gosh, I'm so frustrated. I need to go to McDonald's and get a frappe right now.” A chocolate chip frappe is my ultimate indulgence- my cheat. ;)

            Why is it that the first thing that you do when you're stressed is to reach for food?? Food is not gonna fix your problems; it's going to make them worse, especially after the sugar high wears off. Reading personal development can help get your mind right, and you can talk to God for a while and He will ease your anxiety. I can't remember the exact Bible verse right now but if you pray to God, “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” That's like my life Bible verse!!

            I wanted to let you guys know about this crappy thing that happened and the first things that I thought about were: money- how am I gonna pay for this, and the yo-yo of just the last few hours with the stress of possibly having to rebuild it. I encourage you to take these difficult situations in bite-sized chunks and when you can't handle it go escape somehow. Don't escape into food; escape into a workout, escape into a game with your kids, find a more constructive outlet for your for your stress, meditate, pray, journal, listen to uplifting music (not music that's gonna drag you down), find a good book to read and just check out of that situation for a while!!

            So often your anxiety can consume you and you just get drug deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and before you know it, the whole day is gone and you're even more entrenched in this problem. I wanted to share that message with you guys today that if something crappy is happening to not let your initial reactions go make you go crazy. Right now my plan is to go play with Addison and finish my Shakeology instead of going through the drive through at McDonald’s to get a frappe.

            You’ve got to stop yourself when you when you recognize that you're going down paths that aren’t healthy for you to deal with, and know that you have the power to control how you are affected by things. And you definitely don't have to deal with your anxiety alone- please tell someone if you are being burdened with anxiety and depression.


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